Sample Writing by a Student and the Comments by Instructors

The Student Submitted this Blue Text:

[RE]sistor

The project is_

The project is an analysis and [manifestation/demonstration] of resistance encountered
on the site in terms of topography, vehicular traffic and pedestrian traffic. It is registered
by the spacing of and types of connections on a Cartesian grid – it is measured in terms of
speed and acceleration. The measurement of resistance has been wound up in three
dimensions from an original linear analysis reaching across the island using a system of
forensic analysis of paint drops left while biking over the city.

509 characters – 80 words

I think it might be missing a connection between the original paint and the sited grid –
both are resistance, but maybe lacking a connection - ?


The Instructor Responded with this Review in Red:

I’m not convinced by resistor. Anyways:
(Passage, Record, Analysis, Mapping) w/ Construction

A line is ridden across the island from edge to edge. At regular and even intervals spatter
is left to mark the direction, slope, and speed of this ride across the city.
Spatter analysis of this trace of bicycle traffic reveals places of resistance to speed and
acceleration. On this ride through the city and just outside the Bonaventure Hotel a
dramatic tension develops in bike speed and acceleration as traffic hooks under and up
around a pedestrian bridge to the hotel. A tectonic trace is constructed as a three-
dimensional and Cartesian grid of nodes mapped across this place of passage in the city.

If there’s more function then meld that into the description in the last sentence. There
should be more sense of a program as a part of the proposal mentioned there as well.

The text below was edited out but seemed to have some merit that could be picked up later:
Defining urban factors in this resistance are: 1) segregation from and/ or congestion in
surrounding pedestrian traffic, 2) proximity to vehicular traffic, 3) and direction of flow
across topography.